"Vasculhando" o Spaces do André (BMW), descobri que ele apagou meus posts de lá...
Estou um pouco "arrasada". Não sei quais foram os motivos que o levaram à fazer isso...
O distanciamento ja estava evidente (Sabe-se lá por quais razões tb)
Massssssssss... (CTNVTUM...)
Puts, era tão bom quando "tínhamos" aqueles códigos secretos...
Quando apenas nós dois sabiamos o que nosso nick significava, quando eu corria de casa pro trabalho e nem queria comer para naum perder um minuto sob a companhia dele...
Quando ficávamos até tarde na net e tinhamos que trabalhar no outro dia...mas naum queriamos desconectar... e ele colocava a "Gome´s Radio" pra eu ouvir... sempre terminava com a musica do Coverdale & Page e Aerosmith. Eu naum queria que aquele instante acabasse NUNCA!!!
I Don't Want To Miss A Thing
I could stay awake just to hear you breathing Watch you smile while you are sleeping While you're far away dreaming I could spend my life in this sweet surrender I could stay lost in this moment forever Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure
I Don't wanna close my eyes I Don't wanna fall asleep 'Cause I'd miss you baby And I don't wanna miss a thing 'Cause even when I dream of you The sweetest dream would never do I'd still miss you baby And I don't want to miss a thing
Lying close to you feeling your heart beating And I'm wondering what you're dreaming Wondering if it's me you're seeing Then I kiss your eyes And thank God we're together I just wanna stay with you in this moment forever Forever and ever
I Don't wanna close my eyes I don't wanna fall asleep 'Cause I'd miss you baby And I don't wanna miss a thing 'Cause even when I dream of you The sweetest dream will never do I'd still miss you baby And I don't want to miss a thing
I don't wanna miss one smile I don't wanna miss one kiss I just wanna be with you Right here with you, and just like this I just want to hold you close Feel your heart so close to mine And just stay here in this moment For all the rest of time
I Don't wanna close my eyes I don't wanna fall asleep 'Cause I'd miss you baby And I don't wanna miss a thing 'Cause even when I dream of you The sweetest dream will never do I'd still miss you baby And I don't want to miss a thing
I Don't want to close my eyes I don't want to fall asleep I don't want to miss a thing
Falling through pages of Martens on angels Feeling my heart pull west I saw the future dressed as a stranger love in a space-dye vest
Love is an act of blood and I'm bleeding a pool in the shape of a heart Beauty projection in the reflection Always the worst way to start
"But he's the sort who can't know anyone intimately, least of all a woman. He doesn't know what a woman is. He wants you for a possession, something to look at like a painting or an ivory box. Something to own and to display. He doesn't want you to be real, or to think or to live. He doesn't love you, but I love you. I want you to have your own thoughts and ideas and feelings, even when I hold you in my arms. It's our last chance... It's our last chance..."
Now that you're gone I'm trying to take it Learning to swallow the rage Found a new girl I think we can make it as long as she stays on the page
This is not how I want it to end And I'll never be open again
"...I was gonna move out...ummm...get, get a job, get my own place, ummm, but... I go into the mall where I want to work and they tell me, I'm, I was too young..."
"Some people, gave advice before, about facing the facts, about facing reality. And this is, this without a doubt, is his biggest challenge ever. He's going to have to face it. You're gonna have to try, he's gonna to have to try and, uh, and, and, and get some help here. I mean no one can say they know how he feels."
"That, so they say that, in ya know like, Houston or something, you'd say it's a hundred and eighty degrees, but it's a dry heat. In Houston they say that? Oh, maybe not. I'm all mixed up. Dry until they hit the swimming pool."
"...I get up with the sun... Listen. You have your own room to sleep in, I don't care what you do. I don't care when. That door gets locked, that door gets locked at night by nine o'clock. If you're not in this house by nine o'clock, then you'd better find some place to sleep. Because you're not going to be a bum in this house. Supper is ready..."
There's no one to take my blame if they wanted to There's nothing to keep me sane and it's all the same to you There's nowhere to set my aim so I'm everywhere Never come near me again do you really think I need you
I'll never be open again, I could never be open again. I'll never be open again, I could never be open again.
And I'll smile and I'll learn to pretend And I'll never be open again And I'll have no more dreams to defend And I'll never be open again"
Bem, final de semana hummmmm...digamos que "estranho" esse meu. Algumas coisas REcomeçam (Nhammmm!!! MUITO bom!!!), outras "terminam" (sem mesmo ter começado), e mesmo com uma séééérie de dúvidas (que nem sei se tem taaanta relevância assim), retomo minha vida com um olhar diferente acerca das coisas. Progressé??? Regresso??? Ainda não sei denominá-las... Provisoriamente eu as chamaria de "aprendizado". Hoje, as palavras que estão "latentes" em mim são MOMENTO PRESENTE. Viverei os momentos intensamente, de forma que sejam agradáveis e felizes naquele instante em que estiverem acontecendo (Para mim e para as pessoas que estiverem compartilhando dele comigo (Leia-se: amigos, familia, "amores"). Sobre minha "vida virtual": Estou cansada dela!!! Definitivamente cansada de perder tempo muitas vezes com pessoas que não são coerentes com as atitudes reais e virtuais. Ora, por que EU preciso "aturar" essa "ambiguidade" se a Lucéli que vos escreve é EXATAMENTE a mesma que vc encontra na rua, a mesma que vc conversa por telefone, no MSN, no Orkut. EU asseguro que não sou uma farsa!!! (Putz, que porre ter que explicar isso!!!) Será que ando tão "desprotegida emocionalmente" à fim de compactuar com atitudes tão "sem noção"??? Já era hora de "rever alguns conceitos" e botar um fim nessa palhaçada!!! Por trás de uma janela de MSN existe (pelo menos no meu caso), uma "pessoa de verdade". Felizmente 90% dos meus amigos virtuais me conhecem na vida real e acredito que isso seja uma "façanha", um "privilégio"!!! (Falo isso de boca cheia sim e sem a menor modéstia!!!) Não preciso provar NADA pra ninguem, não preciso auto afirmar-me diante de nada nem de ninguém; não sou "parasita" e consequentemente não preciso refletir-me no "outro" para provar que sou ou deixo de ser alguma coisa. Isso basta pra mim!!! Quero pessoas verdadeiras ao meu lado. Se naum forem "seiscentas e poucas", que seja ao menos UMA!!! Quero ajudá-las no que estiver ao meu alcance. Quero ter a felicidade de dar a minha vida por um amigo. Quero amigos "TRUE", que sejam coerentes com suas condutas reais e virtuais. Quero encontrá-los no MSN e depois dar-lhes um abraço apertado la na frente do Tênis, no meu trabalho, na rua, em Marilia, Bauru, São Paulo, Sul, Manaus, Finlândia ou qualquer outro lugar desse mundo.
Continuarei à escrever...
/listening: Space Dye Vest - Dream Theater
Idealismos à parte, a BANDA PHOMA foi PHODÁÁÁÁÁÁÁSTICAAAAAA!!! (certamente um dos sábados mais "TRUE" da minha vida!!!)
The rain outside reminds me of your voice Like everything I hear since you're not there And distance doesn't leave me any choice Than to meet you in a dream we still can share In my dream I see your smile But when I open up my eyes I can't see anyone Now that you have gone away I wonder if we'll reach the day That you will realize that we belong
I can't take it for granted I remember your smile I can't take it for granted 'Cause I know that our life is in line For another day or life in another time In another time, in another time
The pressure and the fear it made you blind You thought you have to give some burden away But are you really sure if it's required? Don't you want to find out another day?
In my dream I see your smile But when I open up my eyes I can't see anyone Now that you have gone away I wonder if we'll reach the day That you will realize that we belong
I can't take it for granted I remember your smile I can't take it for granted 'Cause I know that our life is in line For another day or life in another time In another time, in another time
I can't take it for granted - I can't take it I remember your smile - I remember I can't take it for granted - I can't take it 'Cause I know that our life is in line For another day or life in another time In another time, in another time"
"Eu gosto tanto de você Que até prefiro esconder Deixo assim ficar Subentendido Como uma idéia que existe na cabeça E não tem a menor obrigação/ pretensão de acontecer
Pode até parecer fraqueza Pois que seja fraqueza então,
Se amanhã não for nada disso Caberá só a mim esquecer O que eu ganho, o que eu perco Ninguém precisa saber"
ps.: Minha cabeça anda tão confusa... duvidas e mais duvidas tiram a minha fome, meu sono, meu sossego...
Em contrapartida, eu não sei por onde começar à esclarecer essas coisas...
Strumenti 
